Alright y’all… soccer updates: international matches & scores are honestly ruining my sleep schedule right now.
I’m currently in my tiny apartment somewhere in the US (no I’m not telling you which state, mind ya business), it’s like 4 a.m., the radiator is making this weird clicking noise, my dog keeps staring at me like I’m insane, and I’m still refreshing the international soccer scores like my life depends on it.
Why Soccer Updates: International Matches & Scores Hit Different in January
January international windows are cursed, okay? No club games (well almost), friendlies everywhere, weird kickoff times, and half the time I’m watching teams I’ve literally never heard of playing in stadiums that look like high school fields.
Last night (or morning? time zones are evil) I stayed up for the USA vs Colombia friendly because I’m patriotic or whatever… ended up falling asleep at 1–1 and woke up to 3–2 Colombia. I screamed. My neighbors probably hate me.
Here are some of the international matches scores that actually slapped recently:
- Argentina somehow won 4–0 against a very confused Asian side (I refuse to believe they didn’t bribe the ref… I’m joking… maybe)
- England drew 2–2 with someone in a meaningless friendly and the British twitter was in full meltdown mode
- Brazil lost 1–0 to… wait for it… an African team ranked 68th. I spat my drink out.
(Quick side note: if you want real-time chaos, just follow @OptaJoe — that account single-handedly keeps me employed and unemployed at the same time.)
My Embarrassing Soccer Updates Ritual
Every international break I tell myself: “This time I’ll be chill. I’ll watch highlights. I’ll sleep like a normal person.”
Lies.
Actual routine:
- Make too much coffee at 11 p.m.
- Open 7 tabs (Flashscore, Sofascore, ESPN, BBC, OneFootball, Twitter, and weirdly the Wikipedia page of the away team’s coach)
- Yell at the TV when someone misses a sitter
- Cry internally when my fantasy international team gets zero points
- Tweet something unhinged at 3:42 a.m. that I delete at 9 a.m.
Very healthy. Very normal American behavior.
Quick Hot Takes on Recent International Soccer Scores
- Morocco still scary good. I’m lowkey terrified for 2026 World Cup.
- France without Mbappé looks… human? Weird.
- USA men’s team is doing that thing where they look promising for 12 minutes then remember they’re the USMNT.
Anyway.
If you’re also a degenerate who cares way too much about soccer updates international matches scores in the middle of winter when nobody else does… hi. You’re my people.
Drop your most unhinged international break memory in the comments (or just yell at me on X, I’m probably still awake).
And please someone tell me when the club season comes back. I can’t survive many more nights like this.
Peace. (going to attempt sleep now… probably won’t happen)
